Safety kit

Just remembered this, and wondering if I was the only kid who did it: I kept an emergency kit with me when I was young in case I got sucked through a dimensional portal, which seemed to happen all the freaking time in books and TV shows. I fit it into a box of kitchen matches, since that seemed pretty compact. The kit included a spool of twine, matches, a mirror, first aid supplies, a golf pencil, and (because I couldn’t figure out how to pack rations that were both compact and non-perishable) packets of duck sauce.

Anyone else, or just me?

Truthiness

Overheard at Starbucks:

(Male) Barista: Dude, what happened to your HAIR?
Guy: I lost a bet.
Barista: Yeah, but what happened?
Guy: My wife was sick of me looking like a mug shot, so she sent me to her hairdresser. Not even a barber. A hairdresser.
Barista: Okay, but what was the bet?
Guy: (beat) Actually, there was no bet. I just say that because it sounds more manly.

Scattered applause

Ah, one of my perennial favorite writing errors is on Hulu’s main page this morning: “Follow the adventures of Bluestone 42, a team of British soldiers who risk their lives diffusing hidden bombs in the Middle East.” Yeah, that does sound risky.

What are your favorite egregious errors?

Life changes so fast they’re giving me whiplash!

I turned in my thesis on Monday and I defend in two weeks; it feels very surreal. I think all but one of the pieces are frigging awesome, and the remaining one is just plain great. So now the next stage is to start submitting them to journals and see what happens, as Gregor would say.

Meanwhile, I’ve turbo-charged the job search, I’m layning two aliyot (chanting the bible, for those who don’t know Hebrew) this Saturday, and putting out a (figurative) fire, which I think is adding to the surreal feeling because there’s no real diminishing of adrenaline.

Plus a moment of comic relief: the other night, at 4AM, my neighbors decided to practice guitar power chords. When I bashed on their doors, they shouted back, “Hang on, we’re just getting to the good part!”

Total geekout

J. Jonah Jameson on Twitter

“IF YOU’RE WONDERING: NINE. YOU CAN FIRE SOMEONE NINE TIMES ON THE SAME DAY.”

*happy sigh*

And now, back to panicking about my presentation for voice class tonight.

Rosh Hashanah

It was fantastic being home with my family, my dad gave a kick ass sermon, and my mom’s cooking was plentiful and delicious. Life is good.

The first night, my dad was telling us about what different communities say about eating particular fruits on Rosh Hashanah, why some people eat pomegranates, some people eat apples and honey, and some people eat dates, and some people eat a combination of those.

And before I could stop myself, I said, “And you can eat all three, concurrent or consecutive, but you can’t eat apples and pomegranates without the dates. Dates are compulsory.”

Whimsy of the day

Listening to “God is a DJ” as the head of the Cantorial School passed my office.

Facepalm

One of my bosses just made a comment about him being pretty tech-savvy for an old guy. I meant to agree with him that he was tech-savvy and ended up sounding like I was agreeing that he was reeeeally old. Further attempts to extract foot from mouth made situation exponentially worse until I fled his office.

Sleep deprivation clearly cannot be sufficiently overcome by coffee.

Amused

Found this typo at work, “Scurvy is a disease caused by a lack of vitamin C4.” One would think having C4 in one’s diet would lose more teeth… 😉

Off I go to drink some non-explosive orange juice.

Bwahahaha

Oh man, this is a fabulous reconstruction of the King Arthur movie. LMAO.

That movie had its moments, but it seriously pissed me off at points, especially when it decided to rip off whole scenes from Braveheart without quite knowing what to do with them. It’s the first movie I’ve ever seen where the costuming and weaponry were far enough out of period to make me surly. I mean, what the hell are these knights doing with bows that won’t be invented for another seven hundred years two continents away? Where the heck did “leather girl” Guineviere get a dress with drop sleeves and silver embroidery? I mean, normally this stuff doesn’t bother me, but when a movie gets on its high horse about being the first historically accurate King Arthur and then pulls this shit, I get snarky.