You know, every year I think Purim is no big deal until it actually gets here. But then I come to work and find the mishloah manot goodie bag left outside my door, and get all dressed up, and by the time services actually start, I’m all psyched. At a certain age, it’s seen as weird or uncool to do Halloween (unless you’ve got kids you can use as an alibi) but there’s no age limit on Purim. You can just play.
Kind of weird seeing an article that quotes half the people I work with, people my dad studied with or teaches alongside. But that’s really at the heart of this issue: the Jewish community is a family. Everyone knows everyone, everyone is related. What’s at stake isn’t so much whether this is sin or acceptable behavior but whether you’re a welcome member of the family; whether you can sit down at the table without hiding or apologizing for what you are, whether your family will come rejoice at your wedding, the bris or babynaming of your child. Whether, if you want to devote your life to serving the community, the community wants your devotion.
About a year ago, I asked my dad how he justified homosexuality within Jewish law. He gave a number of really brilliant legal arguments that blew me out of the water, but finally he just shrugged and said what was at the core of it for him: He didn’t think God was that sadistic, to create homosexuals and then forbid that they ever find comfort or fulfillment.
So I’m crossing my fingers this week. I’m hoping my family has the courage to stand up and do the right thing.
ETA: They didn’t.
The old joke about the Jewish telegram goes, “Start worrying. Details to follow.”
So I got a form letter from my doctor last night saying I had to come in immediately to discuss my test results. Since I had an appointment for today, there was really nothing to do all night but worry. (I’d gone in to get tested for Lyme, but the other person being treated in the office was the Anthrax exposure. I’d thought it was a TB case, but either way, not nice thoughts to be going through your head late at night!)
My mom came with me for moral support, but it turned out to be what I’d thought it was in the first place: I’m having a Lyme relapse. Which pisses me off, because I did everything I was supposed to and had hoped the damned thing was gone, and don’t know if I’ll keep relapsing indefinitely. So I’m taking pills, and I’m still achy and exhausted and can’t keep two thoughts in my head, but hopefully my energy will come back soon.
*sigh* I so don’t need this right now; I have more than enough going on in my life as it is…