Do any of you have recurring dreams or nightmares? There are two in particular that I’ve had since long before I was old enough to write them down that have come back over and over through the years. One is scary but always clear in its meaning and significance. That’s not the one I had last night. I had the one about some sort of family reunion where insects start crawling all over everything. It’s never scary, just gross and overwhelmingly real, and I always wake up thinking every tickle on my body must be an insect, so I turn on all the lights and get no more sleep. Much as I wish for the more-interesting-than-gross cow-sized ants of my childhood nightmares, last night I got a double treat of cockroaches and spiders breeding in my childhood room, forcing me to throw out all my stuff in a desperate attempt to get rid of the damned things.
The problem is, while the other dream is always very clear, this one’s always ambiguous. It always has the elements of an important family gathering and an infestation of insects, and is never scary, only gross, but beyond that, the dream and the triggers change so much that I’m never sure if it’s a subconscious warning, a sign I’m welcoming someone into the family, warts and all, or just my back-brain kicking up random stuff.